I wake to a dark room all by myself with this surreal feeling of overwhelming guilt and overall amazement of what just happened. I sit upright there in bed in utter disbelief and contemplate on whether or not it was real. I lay awake staring at the dark ceiling watching the fan blades monotonously turn and finally come up with the conclusion it was just a dream, but was it?
This dream has been over 2 years from now but still reverberates chills down my spine every time I think about it. Some of the details have begun to lose their clarity but the overarching theme could not be any clearer if I was still in the dream. JUMP!
I enter what seems to be a hotel room with a bunch of people that I know, but I could not tell you who they were now. I am not sure how I got to this hotel room, but there seems to be a party going on and people are socializing. This is where I met Jesus. He came to me in my dream. In the bible you here about God visiting biblical people in their dreams, but that could never happen to me right? Oh, but it did happen! As I am in this hotel room it all gets blurry and Jesus is standing in front of me. Of course the skeptic human part of me did not believe it was actually Him, just the quintessential disciple Thomas looking back on it. He then proceeds to hold out his hands to show me the wounds. I place my hands on His and physically feel the wounds on His hands. I immediately collapse to the ground at His feet with the most unbearable guilt, humiliation, and unworthiness that words will never be able to accurately describe. He then lifts me up to where I am now, standing with Him, and begins to walk me to the balcony and leads me to stand on the balcony railing. I begin to look down and get scared of going over, I turn to Him and He says “Jump”. I hesitated. It felt like forever. I kept turning back to Him and looking at the drop, turning back to Him and looking at the drop, until He said, “Trust me”. I jumped. I went falling down whoever knows how tall of a drop and landed softly in a pool where He was waiting on the edge with this smile that had “I told you” written all over it. I jolt awake to the dark room with the fan blowing cool air on my face.
Although this was a dream, it could not have been anymore real to me. Now when I think back upon it I still can feel the emotions and guilt that went through me and still makes me want to collapse and cry, but I know what my lesson was. It was not that I did not believe in Jesus it was just that I was too scared to jump. I had gone long enough not trusting Him. So what did I do? I jumped!