Marriage: Love Over Compromise

Posted: June 26, 2015 in Faith, Stories

Marriage - Love Over Compromise Picture

Quick Note: We received this blog in an email earlier this morning…before any of the Supreme Court rulings had taken place. This was not written with any of that in mind. So, we hope this honest story is just the encouragement someone needed today because God’s timing is better than our timing!

I overheard some guys having a conversation in the gym today where one of the guys was asking the other for some advice about his relationship with his wife. The man that was looking for advice asked, “Was the reason I married my wife MY OWN will or was it GOD’S WILL?” He admitted that he did not have a personal relationship with God at the time they got married, but has started to develop a relationship since then. He seemed to be questioning the current relationship with his wife saying that they weren’t seeing eye-to-eye on some things and were going through a rough patch. His friend gave him some relationship advice to try to compromise and said, “If that doesn’t work then you will know you did all that you could…”

When I heard this, it got me thinking…COMPROMISE……..THAT’S IT????????????

I have been happily married to my wife for 2 and 2/3 years now…and they have been the best years of my life thus far! I will be the first to admit that I do not know everything there is to know about marriage and I know that I mess up all the time, if not daily, in my marriage. But what I have learned in these years is our marriage is not just a series of compromises. Our marriage is built first and foremost on the love for our Savior. It is built on our love for each other. It is built on the love of our family. It is built on trust. It is built on understanding. It is built on patience. It is built on vulnerability. It is built on communication. And yes, it is built on compromise…

I recently did a book study with the guys in my small group. We read and discussed the book What Radical Husbands Do by Regi Campbell. This book is a great read for anyone going through a rough patch in their marriage and even for those people who are just trying to be better husbands! The book really challenged me to change the way I looked at my marriage. I am here to SERVE my wife, which is radically different from the way the world tells us to live as a married couple. My job as a husband is to show my wife the same love that Jesus showed the church. My job is to lead her through serving her!

So back to the story…What advice would I give this man? I obviously don’t know all of the details of his relationship, but here is what I would say…

First, I would try my best to answer his question about his will versus God’s will.

  • Although you may not have been close to God when you started this relationship, He was close to you! God had this planned for you since you were born. HE has brought you two together to bring Him glory. Take comfort in the fact that you can now be the Godly husband that your wife deserves!

The advice I would give about his relationship is:

  • FIGHT! Fight for your wife! Show her the husband that God wants for her. Cherish her. Love her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Talk with her. Surprise her. Buy her flowers for no reason. Binge watch Netflix with her. Throw away the back up plan! SERVE HER!!!!
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